What Makes You Happy?

If you were to make a list of what makes you happy, quite often it might just be your wishful thinking. That is the reason why it needs intelligent maturity, an understanding of human nature, and mind discipline to discern what brings real happiness into your life

If your loved ones become sick, go to hospital, are diagnosed with cancer, you will say, I cannot be happy, because I am so worried about them. If you have a pet not doing very well, you would be worried sick. If you have personal problems, you will not be happy, and you would not want your parents to know about it, because it would make them unhappy too.

When somebody is in pain or fearful, don’t tell them not to worry, not because there’s anything wrong with it, but because it doesn’t work. If you want to support others, you need to be strong. Not strong in muscle or being smart, rather strong in the light. If you’re reaching levels of miracle-mindedness, you can help tremendously, you will not be worrying, or making the error real. That inner strength comes from your wisdom, your spiritual discipline, whatever that might be for you. I’m not saying you won’t feel fearful, you won’t feel upset, you won’t feel grief, but you can dig a little bit deeper to find the resources – from meditation, from your Chi Kung,  yoga, your Tai Chi, your spiritual friendship, your prayer, that devotion, which all add up to help. If you rely on your personal resources alone, meaning your body, will-power, your intellect, your personality,  you will find these are quite inadequate. If you rely on them to deal with life, you can burn out, break down, stress up, weaken. Strengthening yourself through spiritual training will get you in touch with limitless resources and inexhaustible strength. No matter what is happening in your life.

I can not answer the question of what makes you happy, but I can share with you some of what makes me happy. Being my true self, I am happy. When I connect with my true self, I’m very happy regardless of my internal circumstances – such as my mind or emotions, any turbulence inside, the condition of my body. And external circumstances  will all pass. Whatever is rising up in my mind like worry, or concern, will also come and go. I’ve had all kinds of emotional turbulence, but they’re just like a storm, or an overcast rainy day. Then they’re gone. The skill is how I can actually connect with my true self. The better I can connect, the more peaceful I am, the more empowered I am, more resourceful, more fully resilient I am. I find I become more tolerant, considerate, kind, easy-going, more relaxed… Spiritual growth also makes me happy. Reward is not only on the monetary side. My career, my reward, is witnessing people transform right in front of my eyes.

So we are talking about two aspects to happiness, it is true. Most of human life is very much based on the earth, by which I mean that self, your image, environment, family, career, home and so forth. I call that your worldly self.  Your true self, if you like, is in heaven but not up there heaven. The whole idea about your true self is to bring it into your worldly life more and more.

Sometimes everything seems absolutely fine, but you have a sense of anxiety,  just sitting there, nothing to do. Because  anytime you move your mind, think about something, you start to worry and then you will feel anxious. Of course, the mind is not only on the surface alone. Underneath  is the subconscious/unconscious mind, where the anxiety comes from. If you investigate further, you find that means you must have some kind of pattern, program, belief system… I’m not quite safe. Your feelings and your pain do not tell lies, but your mind does. So after awakening, you can see this. The more brightness you can connect to, the more you’ll notice any underlying turbulence. But the whole thing is, you do have resources enough to dissolve all these anxieties, fear, confusion, uneasiness.

And then as you are reaching some level of maturity and opening,  you realise that true happiness is inner work . You understand true happiness is not so much about entertainment, a good film, good cup of coffee, pleasant company.  You can be happy inside, even when facing a world of devastation, including a loved one dying. Because of my many years of spiritual training, I have reached that level where I have resources to transform the situation, energy field, calm the emotional turbulence… Not because you don’t feel sorrow  in your heart, but it can be transformed into great compassion. Even when somebody dies, I can help them, shield them in peace, love, light. In life also I can show people they’re not alone, even when they feel  lonely or frightened.

True happiness is nothing to do with worldly happiness. It arises because of resources you accumulate and develop and can rely on. Whether you call that peace, you call it light, maybe you call it love. We all have challenges. In times of need, you can call on this strength.

Now you understand happiness really is inner work. It’s nothing to do with how much money you’ve got, how many children you have, what your circumstances are. They help, of course! If you’ve got more money you don’t have to worry about your livelihood, and it’s easier. I would highly recommend it! You have a beautiful wife/husband/partner,  to support you unconditionally, fantastic. But understand, your partner will have challenges too.

Being in a state of happiness, I actually find is an art of living. Somebody reading a book, they smile in contentment to me. Somebody doing the cooking, feeding their children, they’re very happy in the simple, little things. Try to find those. And more doses of those things. The way you make a cup of tea, the way you make the bed: make it an art. Whatever you do, engage with passion, love and attention to detail.

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 I’m very fortunate. Watching a good film and I’m very happy. Meditating, I’m  very happy. When I accomplish something, I’m very happy. I  find a way to feel at ease and happy each day. Yet it needed some effort to start with.

Of course,  true happiness, as already mentioned, is that connection to your true self, which some people call God.  It’s a very personal experience. So, on a daily basis what I’m striving for these days, is to connect with that love, that peace, that wonder in life. When you’ve got it, it permeates into this world. The more you do it, the more it becomes a bridge between Heaven and Earth.  And you become a bridge, and feel more and more the oneness with life.

You do need mindfulness  training to enable you be happy. And when you’re happy, you suddenly realise that the more you share your happiness and inner joy, the greater the happiness you have. As you awake more, the first thing you like to do is to help others, asking ‘How can I help?’ It’s very meaningful and purposeful.

So now, happiness suddenly comes back into the meaning and purpose of life. Without purpose and meaning, some people do commit suicide. Now it becomes very deep. What is the meaning and purpose of your life? I already told you when I can connect with my true self, I’m very content and happy, because that in itself has meaning and purpose. Some of  you may not understand about this yet. But Truth, that Life itself, has its own meaning and purpose. The Sun’s mission, is to shine forth. All the animal kingdom, marine kingdom, fulfil their destiny. How about you? Those animals, birds, fish, do not go through the thinking process. They are less intelligent than us but they do have a purpose to fulfil. It’s inbuilt and they will give even their life for it.

What about you? Your purpose is inbuilt too. We all have it. It’s like a GPS guidance. You have to do what you have to do.  If you’re a singer, you have to sing. If you’re a writer, you have to write. Whatever it might be, it just feels right. Somebody may say it’s not right for you. Never mind, don’t listen to the others. You know it’s right and no-one can tell you it’s not. It’s not logic. It’s not reason. It’s nothing to do with what you think. You can ignore it, because you have free will and choice, but you won’t feel right.  Meditation can give you guidance, when you’re still, when your heart is open. You can call it intuition.

We all have certain roles in life to fulfil and they all have a  reason and meaning. You don’t know why you have to be a nun or why you have to be a priest or why you have to write or paint, but you have to do it. You cannot be an accountant. You just can’t. When I spiritually awoke, I had to give up my restaurant trade, even though it was profitable. It just did not feel right anymore. Now when I look back I can see it was a training – personality, character, persistence, “never give up” training. Mental toughness training. At a certain stage on your journey, you do reach a turning point where you know your life has to change direction. It takes courage, but you have to do what you have to do.

Always ask your heart. It knows. It’s the connection to your core being and your soul. It guides you back home,  and towards a happy life. Consult your mind, logic, reason, yes, but then do not let your mind override your heart. Train your mind to serve your heart. Your heart serves Life, and aligns you with Life.  Life has its own meaning and purpose, which becomes your meaning and purpose too.

So, to be happy, fulfil your life, fulfil your heart and your being. Forgive those people you need to forgive, let go of painful memories. Share joy as much as possible. Find your way.

Be happy.

Jason Chan

July 2019